Sightseeing - Perth

Well, on the long weekend, we embraced the tourists in us and finally visited the Perth Bell Tower, or Swan Bells as its also known by....







It was a gorgeous spring day, so although I must admit Id usually rather be at home sucking back a G&T while watching B&theB, it was pretty ok ;)



Oh- the attitude of LMC at 4 years going on 14!

See! Im baaaaack

Well, things have been going swimmingly. I am also a pathological liar, so take from that what you will! I have been doing alot of soul searching the past few months, and not any of it has been fun, or heart warming, or warm-fuzzy ish.

I am not a good mother. But, I make it for it in love. I will always be there for my kids, be a hand to hold, to be a shoulder to cry on, to be open ears when they need it, and to be their biggest fan. I will support whomever they choose to be, and whomever they choose to love [with exceptions there. I will invest in a shotgun when all else fails]

See, my role model wasn't the greatest. I was never shown alot of love, so I try to make up for it with my kids. I tell them I love them many times each day, and shower them in hugs and kisses while they will still let me. I try to be firm [but not very good at it] Kids need boundaries, and its up to us to show them how, sometimes we assume they should just 'know', but they don't.

I have taken Miss 4 to a child psychologist who actually said LML is actually normal [oh what a relief that was], however, she is still quite teary, more so than what I feel other 4 year olds are. She is still not doing well with toilet training, which is a concern as she will be at school next year.



Here is my girl on her 4th birthday on the carousel at the Perth Zoo

apologies for the long time no see!

Gosh! Time has flown! The department stores are determined to send us insane by arranging all things christmas in the front of store displays, and I have been plodding along. [I would say nicely, but Ill leave that up to you to decide!]

I really should change this blog to 'not so bad mum trying very hard despite suffering mental illnesses, one of which is borderline personality disorder'
I am a newly diagnosee [yes, I like to make up words] and while I am not struggling with the diagnosis [I was when Bi Polar was thrown around], I am struggling with maintaining a certain 'behaviour' on the very lacklustre anti depressants I have been given.

My psychiatrist has me on Cymbalta 60mg, which I dislike as they have done nothing for my depression, and obviously nothing for the BPD. They do, however, cause insomnia and crazy dreams, and are just NOT for me.

Right, poor loyal but neglected followers, I WILL be back! With photos as a sweetener!! My precious angels have been up to a lot in the last six months [birthdays etc]

**DISASTER ZONE***

Well, week one of no medication is over...

I would love to report that I have been taking it easy and everything is ok....

It's been a bloody crap-house week, and some of it was out of my control.

My best friend just walked out on her hubby and kids- I didn't realise that would affect me so, lots of crying and moments of anger etc...

I'm planning [again] on pulling Miss 4 out of kindy, arguing with the school psych to hold her back a year, and see a separate child psychologist- it has dawned on me she suffers anxiety- which is better than the autism spectrum I was imagining I suppose!!

Every electrical appliance I have seems to have chosen this week to give up the ghost [car is still a lemon =(]
Laptop is about to go flying through the window.. Dishwasher- I mean seriously- what mum can live without a functional dishwasher?? Ours is a 3 year old Bosch FFS!!!

Anyways, I need to get me some drunkeness..... lewd activity...... retail therapy would also be nice......

Watch this space

The on-going house-work

Oh my ..... it's a mess

Thought I'd show some typical examples of what our house looks like- from one VBM to another, or to make a VGM choke on her skinny-caramel-mochachino.... sorry for that!

Our kitchen- this is not an example of mess- it is ALWAYS like this.


Next- is the girls' shared room. As of an hour ago, they no longer share. TTB has upped the ante with all things 'terrible two', and as a result, Miss 4 has demanded she be removed!!!

It's PICTURE day today!

My Darling mother has just sent me a text saying how her and her toyboy [so henceforth I shall call her CM- Cougar Mother] just arrived in Paris.



Yes, as in Paris, France.....



I am shaking at the urge to go get drunk on that piece of information as I have never been so seething jealous in my life ..... so, I will just bore you all to tears instead with photos.



Tears being the word of the day today, cos TTB [now 21ish months- lost count] has begun 2 year old tantrum stage and I am not coping with it very well- it's MUCH worse than her older sister ever was.....



And! If I hear the word DIVORCE one more time I will slap myself [yes, myself]- it seems I am now at the age where all my peers are getting divorced- it seems I am not cool, and am yet to discover divorce!! [DON'T tempt me!!!!! *evil eyes*]

How appropriate that I added a pic of LSH first!


Next, my two little girls- my reason for being sane, yet not being sane- clear as mud huh?

ADs and how Aus mental health system sux dead dogs balls

For those of you who know- I am coming off ADs that I have been on for a few years...... Not coping that well, and have about as much support as a free-ballers testicles, so most days are a bit fat struggle.

Its sad that in these modern times, people are so caught up with their mindless yet busy lives that they can no longer 'be there' for others......

It also sux that I have to kill a child [or myself] before the MH system will kick in and go ' she needed help'- NO SHIT SHERLOCK! You keep failing mothers [well, and others, but an awful lot of mothers are suffering] and you never do anything to prevent tragedies [remember mother in Rivervale with 18 month old twins????]

Now, off to write to parliament to see if they give a rats, whats the name of our health minister? Its not stupid Julia- Gulia Gillard is it?

BTW- LSH is not very helpful either. He has turned into a grumpy old man, and doesn't seem to care one iota about anything I say/do/feel..... reminds me, I MUST do a post about the 7 year itch, or have I already done that?? Cos, I'm blurdy itchy right now!!!!

Au Revoir.... I need a coffee, and I wish I smoked right about now.... could do with one of them

*ALERT* Man-flu pandemic

Oh Man-flu...... God must be a man to inflict such hideous torture on us mere women. Even us with our innate strength, cannot deal with this pandemic sweeping our nation, Rolling eyes is as much as we can do.

Reality is like this- picture one miserable man laying awkwardly on couch smelling like Oscar the grouch at his worst, moaning, sniffling, and talking non-stop about their illness [drawing parallels to the one sided conversations MIL has about her best friend's neighbours dog-walkers brother's prostate issues]
You feign interest- albeit briefly [and, I'm asking, what mother has time to really nod appropriately at the right times to ANY conversation for more than 47 seconds?], as kids don't wait for real life to intervene in their day, so you turn your back on dying partner to attend to day to day life like all women have to come rain or shine or flu of your own......
You fantasize about their impending death [because, according to them, the GP is a moron, and should have hospitalized them- because DEATH IS IMMINENT!]
You think thoughts to yourself about how if partner were a horse, even a THOROUGH BRED, they would surely have been shot by now, and you can empathize with cavewomen with their big clubs they stole off the men in the middle of the night- oh yes, a club WOULD come in handy right now......

The fantasy goes like this- every man affected by this hideous, flesh rotting pandemic is marched off to a concentration camp, [in the middle of some country you have no idea where is- like Slovakia or somewhere, so if LSH manages to smuggle a mobile and texts you to come get him- you can't .... mooohhoooooo haaaarrrr harrrrrr]..... I digress....... they are marched off, single file, Nazi-style and when they reach their meagre accomodation, they are greeted by one big, fat German nurse, who barks in a Russian accent [not quite sure why, but this is my story, 'k?] "YOU VILL STOP ZEE VHINING, YOUZ MIZRABULL BABEEZ"
They all then start to cry and sniffle like newborns, and they long for their caring women back home who bring them cups of teas, even if they are just pretending to care, it's better than this torture...

Ohhhhh, I could go on and on with this fantasy....... ;)
It is moments like this my 7 year itch is flaring up like a bad case of genital herpes, and I picture how the grass is greener, yada yada yada
I imagine getting whisked away by some Italian [or, insert French, Irish, Swiss, German, whatever floats ya boat ;)] lothario to some exotic location, magically, my cling-ons have disappeared - isn't it amazing how in fantasies your rug-rats fail to exist!!!???- and you sip red wine [Guinness, Champagne, Absynthe, you decide] and you throw your head back in laughter at everything said lothario says....... and you walk hand in hand off into the sunset, make love til dawn, and evereything is perfect, as in this story, lotharios don't get the man-flu pandemic, noooooo..... that would be too cruel.......

Yeah...... *sigh*...... off now to have my morning cuppa [see, I AM dreaming] and go upstairs to poke the male with the end of my broomstick [did I say that?] to see if he grunts. Fingers crossed he doesn't...... hehehehehhehehehehehehehheheheehe [insert the very evilest of evil laughs]

2 min Noodles ARE a nutritious dinner I tell you!

Dinner time- its like a lesson in terrorist negotiations.

Some days it goes like this- you carefully prepare something wholesome, and to be honest, you are quite proud of yourself, it is almost completed by a little sprig of parsley [but of course you're not going there] and you set it on the table- BAM! 3 year old immediately starts crying in a truly revolting way- that awful sound that is like a cat dying on the side of the road [or your mother in law after you have strangled her- but I DIDN'T SAY THAT LOL]

You are crushed. Your food is edible, even delicious by your standards. EVEN, yes EVEN picky Mr LSH* [*long suffering husband] will eat it..... What is wrong with your children- didn't they spring from your VERY OWN LOINS- why won't they eat your RUDDY COOKING?

So..... next night..... it goes like this....
4.30pm rolls around- the time in every mothers life she dreads the most.... Time to think of what to prepare for the Kinder Dinner [yes I used capitals, as, to the rug-rats, this is a very important event- life or death]
This time you think stuff it.... Im gonna sit here reading my trashy NW magazine, because nothing is more important [to you anyway] than who RPatz is actually hooked up with-
'The kids can have two minute noodles!'

Oh shock horror you perfect mums are recoiling in disgust- BITE ME!
We have allllll done it, so don't proclaim your 15 different type of vegie eating semi organic soy child hasn't had crap for dinner.......... ;)

My kids not only eat 2 min noodles- they LOVE them. The enjoy the experience, and even draw it out to the point where the noodles are stone cold and mummy has retired to watch MasterChef with her Chivas Regal and Sundried tomato dip... but the kids still sit pulling each wiggly noodle up above their heads before shoving them violently down their throats with their entire hands.

So, terrorist negotiations avoided on this night. There is no pleading, threatening, bargaining, crying [usually me], food throwing - it is bliss..... [just don't ask the dog- she likes the former situation]

Off to attempt mushroom souffle tomorrow night- oh, and they will eat it- won't they????

*hangs head in shame*

I am true to form- such a very very very bad mother that I haven't even taken the time to come in here and whinge about my kids and parenting skills...... This I usually do into the bottom of a baileys glass, the milky haze staring back at me, always forgiving, always there for me.....

To be honest, we have all been revoltingly passing sickness back and forth to each other - one that all began in a humble daycare facility [don't they all] and I have not had the energy to do much. I have disconnected from my OLL [read- online life] and it has actually been a breath of fresh air. While I have little, to no IRL [in real life] friends that I can vent to on a daily basis, I was finding OL friends even harder to really connect with..... and, at the end of the day- who will be there when I am on my deathbed??? It will be my snotty kids [all grown up and have lives of their own by then I hope] and my grumpy husband [hopefully happily retired, and hopefully outlives me]

*SIGH* So, it's been a big wake up call to get back into IRL and embrace it with all its boring bits, family irks and money issues that go with day to day living.
For some reason unbeknownst to me, we keep receiving these darn regular bills; phones, electricity, foxtel, yada yada and quite frankly, the satisfaction and fulfillment I feel when I pay one of the monstrous things quickly dissapates as the next one faithfully arrives.....

However, the eBay packages still manage to trickle in, and as other eBay addicts will know- this is always a lovely feeling! Ive become addicted to darn wall stick-ons and buy them just for the h*ll of it sometimes hehehehe
namee17 on eBay is one of my favourite sellers, and smileywalls on Etsy is another good one....

Will be back later to report on our week long holiday down south in the Margaret River wine region [namely Dunsborough]... of course it ruddy rained the whole week! LOL